In our human journey we wear many different hats and try on many versions of our Self. We might like some of those versions, discard others, search for new ones, and bring back new life into old comfortable ones…all in search of who we are and what will make us happy. My friend Jill visualizes these different aspects of our Self as Russian Matryoshka dolls, as all aspects of Self reside within the bodysuit that we call ME.
Our grief journey is no different, as it lies within the human journey that we are on. So, there are many different versions or aspects of our Self woven throughout our grief journey. There is the version of Self who is angry, the version of Self who internalizes the pain, the version of Self who pretends to be strong for others, the version of Self who doubts, the version of Self who falls into self-pity, the version of Self who medicates to ease the pain. Additionally, there exists the version of Self who becomes a seeker, the version of Self who trusts, the version of Self who LOVES, the version of Self who searches for deeper meaning and understanding, the version of Self who shares with others, and on and on and on.
I encourage you to embrace all aspects of your Self and rejoice in ALL of who you are. Honor each aspect of you that has helped you get this far. Allow ALL of you, to be the beautiful shining light that you are. Allow ALL of you to be held lovingly in your body, mind and soul, to be nurtured and healed.
While we mourn the person we were before our loved one died, we also are beginning to create the person who we are now. When one Self dies off, or isn’t needed any longer, another Self steps up to assist. There is always another version of Self ready to step up into the spotlight that shines within you. To help you move forward, to help you BE the light that you are. I was introduced to these many versions of myself last week. I saw each version of ME standing at the edge of my energy field, each one with hand outstretched. Within the palm of each hand I saw what they had to offer, when and if I needed their gift. One aspect held Compassion, another held Trust, another held Love, another held Gratitude, yet another held Strength, and so on. There were at least 20 aspects of ME present at that moment, each one lovingly offering what they can to assist me on this journey. I saw so completely how each of these versions play a role in the WHOLE of who I am. I understood that I can call on each of those selves and access the gifts they bring to the table.
So gather your Self up. Let ALL the aspects of you reign within you. One part of self leads to the next, and so on. Each part of YOU has something to offer, an important role to play when called upon by YOU. Your many aspects of Self are there already, waiting to be brought into your inner circle, waiting to be gathered up and loved, and honored.