Hello friends. My name is Paige Lee. I was raised Presbyterian and I have always believed in God, although my family was not very religious and we did not attend church much after I was 10 years old or so. Throughout my life I have searched for the church that was the ‘right fit’ for me, one where I felt I could be myself and not feel as though I were being persecuted or that I wasn’t ‘good enough’. One that didn’t judge or lead with hypocrisy. I never did find that church. What I ultimately did find, though, was my spirituality. As is often the case it took a tragic, soul-rocking, life-changing event to bring it about.
My spiritual awakening arrived abruptly and forcefully after my only child, Bryan Richard Frost, was murdered while he was attending college at the University of Southern California in September 2008. Believe me, I have agonized over why my son’s death needed to be the catalyst that would launch me on my spiritual journey. I’ve learned much about that and, while I still don’t like it, I think I understand now why it had to be that way for me. But that’s another story….
When Bryan left, I thought my life would surely end too; I know I wanted it to. How could my life or anyone’s life go on without Bryan? I was lost, destitute, without hope or faith or understanding.
But just as the only world I’d ever known was shattered, a new world opened. A world filled with God, Spirit, and Love was offered to me….just opened up in front of me like a beautiful flower blossoming on a warm summer morning. And the best part? I realized that this was a world where I could continue to have a relationship with my son! I didn’t hesitate….I grabbed it and thanked God and held on tight for the amazing ride…
Over the years I have learned so much about myself and my soul purpose. I have learned about God and the Divine within each of us. I have learned about compassion and understanding. I am learning about forgiveness and about letting go….not of my son, but of my old beliefs and my fears. I learned how to meditate and let Spirit talk to me. I am learning how to manifest positive things in my life, and how to pray with gratitude.
With all that learning came The Miracles. There have been so many miracles over the past two years. I will share some of them with you in the coming months, and I would love to hear your miracles as well, if you’d like to share. Within two months of Bryan leaving, I was guided toward my first Spiritual teacher, who in turn led me to a group of like-minded, newly awakened souls. Those people have since become some of my dearest friends. I have been guided toward remembering my intuitive and healing gifts, and I have been graced with messages from my son and from others in Spirit. So, for me, there is no turning back now. God and Spirit and Bryan have done more for my healing than any therapist was able to. The rest of my life is dedicated to my awakening, to God/Creator, to my son, and to YOU.
Which brings us to why I’m writing this blog. I have been led to provide a forum to help us help each other. To help us understand that dying is not what we might think it is….what we might have been raised to believe. Rejoice in this good news, dear friends: Our relationships with our
loved ones simply do not end just because they are not physically here with us! They are but a breath or a thought or a touch away, and they are waiting for our call. To lose a loved one is always painful, to say the least, and to lose a child is the worst imaginable loss. In addition to losing my grandparents and my mom, I have lost 4 children; two babies
before their birth, my baby daughter Jamie was stillborn, and then of course my beloved Bryan at the tender, yet so wise, age of 23. There is no pain deeper, no loss more gut-wrenching. But our lives on this earth – yours and mine – did not end, even though at first we might have wanted them to. It is up to us. I believe that by sharing our stories and opening our hearts to the infinite possibilities, we CAN help each other heal.
Thank you for taking the time to join me here. Future posts will cover many different topics related to my personal experiences, feelings, challenges and growth since Bryan left. I invite you to comment, submit topic ideas, and participate in the discussions.
With God we heal, with Love we forgive, and with Faith we carry on.