Paige’s Pages

If you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, the holidays may likely be a very difficult time for you. I know they were (and still can be) for me. Even if you’re not actively grieving, reflecting upon cherished memories and traditions related to the holidays may trigger your grief to rise to the forefront. How could it not, when we are faced with endless reminders that our loved one is not with us physically during these times where our families and friends gather to celebrate.  David Kessler says that “Holidays mark the passage of time in our lives. They are part of the milestones we share with each other and they generally represent time spent with family. This is exactly why the holidays are difficult to cope with when we are grieving. We miss our loved ones more than ever during this time. Holidays and family gatherings without our loved ones present magnify our loss. The sadness deepens and the loneliness can feel isolating.” For most of us grieving the death of a loved one, the grieving process is a time when we try to understand and re-evaluate ourselves and the world in light of the loss we experienced, as we learn …

We are not who we were before our loved one transitioned. When our soul is ripped apart, we begin to re-create the next version of who we are, who we want to be. We step into our new self cautiously, with trepidation. But after some time, we begin to feel comfortable, lighter, more accepting of the way things are. And then, a few years down the road, maybe life throws some serious curve balls our way. Serious curve balls. That yet again, bring us to our knees. And we begin to re-create again, molding who this new version of our self will be. As we try, yet again, to hang on. To survive. We are constantly changing and re-creating who we are. But when we allow the seat of our soul to always remain rooted in us, then we are allowing expansion and light into all of these versions of us. We invite it in, we welcome it. Change is necessary. Change is growth. I am re-creating. Again. I don’t know exactly what this next version of me will look like. But I know that I will love her more than ever before. I know that she will be kinder, …

In our human journey we wear many different hats and try on many versions of our Self. We might like some of those versions, discard others, search for new ones, and bring back new life into old comfortable ones…all in search of who we are and what will make us happy. My friend Jill visualizes these different aspects of our Self as Russian Matryoshka dolls, as all aspects of Self reside within the bodysuit that we call ME. Our grief journey is no different, as it lies within the human journey that we are on. So, there are many different versions or aspects of our Self woven throughout our grief journey. There is the version of Self who is angry, the version of Self who internalizes the pain, the version of Self who pretends to be strong for others, the version of Self who doubts, the version of Self who falls into self-pity, the version of Self who medicates to ease the pain. Additionally, there exists the version of Self who becomes a seeker, the version of Self who trusts, the version of Self who LOVES, the version of Self who searches for deeper meaning and understanding, the version of …

Grief should not be avoided. It matters. It matters to you, the bereaved, and to us, the ones in Spirit. Not only is grief an expression of your love for us, but grief is the doorway to your soul. Place your trust in Creator God, in us, and in your highest true self. When you do so, you will be guided and healed in a way that allows for full expansion of yourself. Those soulful layers of yourself that are waiting to unfold, to blossom, into the shining light that you are. Into the love that you are. So, allow your tears. Allow your grief. Allow all of it. And then hand them to us. We got your back.

This channel came through after a meditation regarding the parole hearing for the man that took Bryan’s life.   “I know this feels like another arrow in your heart, but really its another opportunity for growth and understanding. It means nothing to me here, now – you know that already. But what you don’t know (remember) is that this was also part of the plan. The letting go is what is important for you now. Can you let go of this outcome, the pain you carry around it? The letting go will lead to forgiveness when you are ready. There Is no intervention here on matters such as this. Events will run their course, many as planned, and many with the free will influence in the mix. This decision to allow parole of the man who ended my life is such a small speck of dust on the camera lens of my life, of your life too. Really Mom, it brings me no pain whatsoever. So please do not let it bring you any. The best way you can honor me, all the moms – tell them this tonight – the best way to honor your loved ones here is …

My teacher Sue Frederick explained that 2020, as a 22 year in numerology, has been a year that was all about getting us to transform. And WOW did we! Haven’t we transformed so many things in our lives? Our work environment, our social lives, our interpersonal relationships, our spiritual practices – so much was transformed for so many of us in this tumultuous year that we are leaving behind. For me personally, 2020 was a good year, but I know that this was not the case for many people. So many of us experienced the death of a loved one in 2020, or illness, lack of employment, decreased finances, lack of social interaction, depression, homelessness, and more. We will all be happy to put this calendar year behind us, I am sure. And while everything won’t change in an instant, we know that, perhaps slowly, life will return to some sort of normalcy, back to life as we knew it pre-2020. As we look to 2021, please know that this coming 5 year is one of expansion, adventure, expecting the unexpected. This will be a turning point year, we will have much freedom to explore, so you are advised to …